"A Wink and a Smile"

On October 1st, 2014 I ventured into direct selling with a great skin care company.  It was my second go at it (first being from June 1- November 1, 2012) and I really felt optimistic about getting back into it.  I love the products and the business model was great.  Problem was ... I was not great. One of my goals I had when joining Rodan and Fields was to make some money without having to compromise family and time.  With that I had really hoped to gain confidence, make new friends in the area I live, and ultimately gain a sense of pride.   I wanted my husband and children to be proud of ME. I've spent the better part of my adult life taking care of others and being HOME to do that.  We've been fortunate to get by with one income.  That's not to say that things aren't "tight", but we have what we need and then some. Today I am HOME again and without any sort of income.   I have 5 children ... one in college and one is is off to college i...

I am thankful for my FAITH ... my Catholic Faith. A few years ago I stumbled on a book by Matthew Kelly called Redicover Catholicism .  I purchased the book, but I think it sat on my bedside table for a really long time before I read it.  Maybe it was because I was really engaged in my church life back in Little Rock and I didn't feel hungry enough to read it.   Fast forward to today and I can't seem to get enough of the faith based resources I've found through Dynamic Catholic  .  I am so thankful for this program that really has kept my faith alive. For nearly 2 years and 4 months I have struggled to find my church home.   My family and I have bounced around to 6 different Catholic Churches within a 25 minute radius of our home.  The Catholic Church in my immediate town is where we are registered praishioners and where my children are enrolled in the religious education program they have.  However, it is NOT where I feel my family belongs. ...

"I will scream them loud tonight Can you hear my voice this time This is my fight song Take back my life song Prove I'm alright song ..." I'm sure you've heard this song on the radio (by Rachel Platten).   If not ... look it up.  We've lived in NJ now for 2 years and I know from past experiences with moving to a new state, that it really does take time to "embrace" the change.  Two years is usually the number.   I know because my family has bounced from NJ to MO to CA to NJ to AR to NJ. I'd like to say that now that two years has gone by, I feel better ... like we are home.   Not exactly true. It's a battle every day.   I'm reminded all of the time how expensive it is to live here ... how complicated children's schedules can be ... how angry people are around me ... how family and faith are valued less.    I feel like I've been fighting for two years.   The lyrics of this song mimic what I see in my h...

I thought I would get this blog back up and running, but apparently I didn't live up to my word.  There really isn't a GREAT excuse.  If I made writing here a priority, it would happen. What's been going on these last 5 months ... pretty much the usual.   Driving all over for activities Swim meets Husband traveled a bunch with work in the spring months College girl came home from her sophomore year College girl went to England for 6 weeks this summer School ended late June and summer job/activities began Junior lifeguard suddenly was added to our summer schedule Spent way too much money fixing our pool Traded in my nearly 10 year old Yukon XL for a new Chevy Traverse (I love it, but not the car payment) Our older cars are also falling apart and need to be replaced (ugh) Lots of beach time Lots of yard work Lots of exercise (p90x3/crossfit/Orangetheory fitness) ... by all Did I mention SWIM TEAM? August is just a few days away and that means ...  ...

I'm so glad it's March. Between kids activities, husband traveling/working long hours, and SNOW ... it's been a hard month. Somewhere in the month was my 44th birthday.   While I normally proclaim to feeling so much younger, this past month was not my finest.    I think I exercised a handful of times and cried 5 out of 7 days.  I drank too much coffee and consumed way too many sweet snacks.  My winter parka feels tighter so I KNOW I easily put on a few pounds. ((((SIGH))) I think I have that S.A.D.   thing.  This pretty much means that I desperately need warmer, sunnier days in my near future or I think I may need to pick up a phone to reach out for some help.  Add to that this NJ life of crazy activities overlapping, a husband who works long hours and can't be counted on for much assistance (this is not an insult to him ... just a fact), and the many raging hormones of having 5 girls (4 teen/preteens) ... well, it is just a whole...

"Studies have shown that writing about oneself and personal experiences can  improve mood disorders , help reduce symptoms  among cancer patients , improve a person’s health after a heart attack, reduce doctor visits and even  boost memory ." (taken from this article) I told myself a few weeks ago that I should really start blogging again.  In late 2012 this blog had started to get quieter and then mid 2013, it just said frozen until January 2015.  It's not like I didn't have time to write, I just felt so unhappy and thought that I would have nothing good to share here. Yesterday I caught myself looking back on the many blog posts over the years and it just filled my heart with both pride and sadness at the same time.   Pride because I was writing and sharing so much, whether good or bad.  Sad because I chose to let my creativity through words and photos just stop.   For almost 2 years I have been really, really sad.  The only outlet of...